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Exploring the No-Contact Order

By on Nov 2, 2011 | 64 comments

Author’s note: I’m very happy you’ve enjoyed this overview of the no-contact order but remember if you have a specific legal issue you need to contact a lawyer and make an appointment in your state! Noah Weil is licensed to practice in Washington State only and can only offer legal advice to 1) clients, 2) in the State of Washington

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The no-contact order is one of more damaging orders a court can put on a person. While nominally it protects the safety of what is known as the protected person, they can also wreak havoc on a living situation. Further, they can create new criminal charges for a restrained person, even felonies. This week’s topic goes into how these orders come about, and the best practices for both the restrained and protected parties.

How is a no-contact order created?

 

A no-contact order is an order signed by a judge. As I explain below, it can be requested by anyone, but only a judge can order one.

Civilly Requested

 

The first method is the requested order. A person goes to a court and fills out a form requesting the judge issue a 14-day protection order. The form of course lists the reasons why someone should be restrained. Importantly though, that person is not required to be present at the petitioner-requesting stage. This is a rare exception to the rule requiring all parties be present before a judge will take action on a matter. In other words, a person can request a temporary restraining order ex parte.

If the request is in anyway rational (e.g. does not involve aliens) the judge will probably issue the restraining order. But the court requires the order be served, or delivered, to the restrained person. And there’s a couple reasons for that: 1) the order is ineffective if the restrained person doesn’t know about it, and 2) at the end of the 14 days the petitioner can request the temporary restraining order be converted into a permanent one.

This process involves a hearing, and cannot be done ex parte. The actual hearing to convert a temporary restraining order into a permanent one is complex and beyond the scope of this post, but in essence the judge makes determinations on how systematic someone’s offensive contact is. The “permanent” ones generally last two years.

Pre-Conviction Order

The second way a no-contact order is created is when a person is arrested for a crime against another person. Examples of this include Robbery, Domestic Violence Assault, Rape, etc.. It works like this:

The arrested person is brought before a judge and pre-trial release conditions are imposed. This sometimes includes bail, but always involves a no-contact order. While the judge technically does not have to order one for these cases, the prosecution will always request it and the judge will always order it. No judge wants to be in the papers as the one judge that did not order the domestic abuser to stay away from the victim, even if it turns out the charges are wholly untrue. In other words, they want to play it safe while the case winds its way through the system.

Clients will often ask me to ask the court not to impose the order, but this never happens. Sometimes the alleged victim (A/V) will be in court and they will ask the court not to impose the order but even so this almost never happens. Why would a judge impose an order that neither the restrained person nor protected person wants? Some attorneys say it’s a paternalistic approach, that the A/V is too abused to know what they want, but I think it’s half safety and half political, as I explained above. And again, to the court’s mind, if the allegations are unsubstantiated, no one is worse for wear in the long term (not always true).

This post-arrest, pre-trial order is where a lot of people get screwed up, but I’ll get into that in a bit. There is one more way a no-contact order is created.

Post-Conviction Order

 

As a part of sentencing to a crime against a person, a judge will almost always order no-contact for a good length of time, generally two years, which is frequently the maximum that can be ordered.

Attorneys have a tiny, tiny amount of play with pre-conviction orders but after someone is found guilty? Forget about it. The issue of the protected person objecting to the order doesn’t usually come into play here because if the prosecution doesn’t have an A/V on board, the charges may be dismissed or the defendant may plead to a lesser charge. Or the court may not order one if the person goes down so hard that the no-contact order is superfluous since the person is in prison.

Penalties for violating no-contact orders

 

Once the order is in place, a copy gets filed with all the law enforcement agencies in the state. That means if you’re in a place where you’re IDed, for example driving, make sure you are not the subject of a no-contact order protecting your passengers.

Getting charge with violating a no-contact order (VNCO) is very, very bad. There are numerous reasons for this:

It’s a new charge.

Regardless how the order is created, the person does not want to deal with a new criminal charge. Even if the underlying charges are dismissed, or overturned on appeal, or the temporary order would have expired without a problem, this new VNCO needs to be dealt with. The first two VNCOs are gross misdemeanors with potential sentences of a year in jail and $5,000 fines. Future VNCOs can be charges as felonies.

It’s a charge that tells the court “I don’t follow the court’s orders.”

If there is one thing judges hate more than anything else, it’s people not following the court’s orders. Judges consider ever order, decision, and ruling to be reasoned and fair. A willful disregard of that order is a personal affront to the judge and the court’s noble authority.

What does this mean for you? It means really high bail while the charge is pending, and probably a more severe sentence if or when the case resolves. A VNCO is a special kind of charge that tells the court to explicitly not trust you for future dealings.

How to handle a no-contact order

 

Short answer: abide by it. If you see the protected person, turn around. There’s no violation for accidently being around someone, just intending to communicate with them or staying around them. No waves, no talk. Leave. If you are somewhere legitimate and the protected person comes in, you leave. If it sounds unfair, it kind of is. But it’s not a two-way street and you are the restrained person. Wherever they go, be somewhere else.

A big, big way people get jammed up is impersonal contact. Phone calls, text messages, facebook posts, etc. All these constitute contact, and hence all of these are forbidden. These are actually worse because they create a definite record. An attorney has a little bit of game if people happen to be in the same room. If one person sends another a text message saying “I wish you hadn’t gotten a no-contact order,” that’s going to be a tough one to fight.

As I said, the big problem area is that post-arrest, pre-conviction space. A no-contact order between two people who live together or have kids together can be highly disruptive to everyone’s life. And as I said, even if none of the parties want it, the judge will probably order it.

This effectively means the restrained person needs to find a new place to live for weeks or months. If requested, the court will authorize one or two civil standbys, which permit the protected person to get a police escort to collect their clothing and effects. After that though, radio silence.

Related to this is when the protected person invites the restrained person back into the house. I’ve seen this before and it doesn’t end well. Just as the judge is the only person who can order a no-contact order, the judge is the only person who cancel it (unless it expires of course). What this means is that even if the restrained person is invited or induced to contact the protected person, that is not a defense. Charges can, and often will, still be brought.

So my long answer is that while it may suck and may be disruptive and may even require financial expenditure, the consequences of violating it are worse. I am occasionally asked how the prosecution would even find out about illicit contact, and I tell them flat out “You would be surprised. Do not risk it.” Some listen and some don’t, and sometimes they do get away with it, but talk about playing with fire.

I’m frequently asked if they can be removed or lifted, and the answer is yes. Sometimes. First for the civil orders, they naturally expire pretty quickly. The petitioner can ask for permanent ones, but as I indicated, they are far harder to get than the quickie, temporary ones.

For pre-conviction cases, there is a method of having them lifted. The process varies court by court, but generally each venue has what are called “lift courts.” The protected person comes in, makes their pitch, and asks for the order to be lifted. The court certainly does not have to do so, but sometimes they will. Factors include the severity of the original charged conduct, how long the order has been in place with no violation, encumbrances suffered by the protected and restrained persons due to the order, and so on. Needless to say, if the charges are dismissed the no-contact orders are dismissed with them. It happens.

Conclusion

 

No-contact orders are potential mine fields. Even if the underlying cause goes away, they can create serious headaches for people while they are in effect. I give my clients the same advice as I’m giving here: while they are in place, scrupulously avoid all direct and indirect contact with the protected person. Like so many other things, they are not fun but ignoring it is worse.

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  • Larry

    I could really use your help. I have an issue where I have a no contact order against 5 males coming to my home. But, (I know how this sounds) I’m the victim. They follow me. They continuously call my probation officer.
    They were paid to do what they did and I can prove it real soon.

  • Amy

    My boyfriend violated his but I did not want it I love him know he is in jail how can I get it dropped

  • Amy

    My kids are super sad w out him the order was out of mn and he was arrested in nebraska has a really high bail there yet the case was in mn he never touched me was all words not one threat at all and he still went to jail I am sick w out him money wise were struggling know how can we get him out of nebraska and back home mn was going to drop this case know they can t cause he never made it to court help me

  • HELP

    A JUDGE IN NEBRASKA PUT A NO CONTACT ORDER ON MY BOND WITH ME ANDMY HUSBAND WHO IS STLL IN JAIL WE WERE ARRESTED FOR DRUGS NO ABUSE AT ALL HOW CAN I GET IT DROPPED

  • James Garwood

    If my no contact order ended last month, and I able to send a simple apology letter to the person I hurt?

  • Hali

    My husband and I were jailed for child neglect, which we never have ever neglected our children. As a term of our bond we can have no direct, or indirect contact with my kids. Which makes it seem like we are being forced to abandon them. My children have never been neglected by us they are always with us. Can I get the indirect contact order lifted? Our court date is over 2 months from now…

  • Michael

    My landlord wrongfully put a no contact order against me as a way to rapidly evict me and circumvent the standard eviction process. What can I do to appeal this and protect myself?

  • HELPP!

    my boyfriend and i got into an agurment and things got physical but he was drinking and snapped that is what caused it to get physical. the judge put a no contact on us, and i know for a fact that my boyfriend will never physically touch me or harm me again, i lost my job. my boyfriend is also my best friend, how do i go about getting this dropped?

    • Diana Kinney

      The same thing just happened to me and my fiancé’ last week, he has been stressed got drunk and snapped but he is the sweetest guy in the world and not talking to him is driving me crazy. I was wondering do you guys still have a no contact order and if not how long did it take to come off. I also have four kids that aren’t his but he helps take care of so its really hard without him.

  • Brandon White

    So my class a battery misdemeanor charge has been dropped, but my contact order is still in effect, neither one us want it, how long until the no contact order expires , this is in Florida

  • Rebecca prendergast

    My sons gf and himself have a no contact order for a theft charge that they both plead guilty to. My sons is going to do prison time and his gf is on the chance program so that’s the issue with them, but her po told her she was gonna put a no contact order against her and I ( the mother of the bf) and she’s living with me because she has NO family, po told her she has 2 weeks to find housing and if she couldn’t she’d give her the number to the homeless shelter…….wtf? I had absolutely nothing to do with there theft charge, I’ve never even had a speeding ticket, I live a clean life so why would the po take a case of the ass and do that to her, this chance program she’s doing is EXTREMELY STRICT and only has a success rate of around 55%, at my house she has permanent housing, transportation to the city where her classes and po are, I don’t get it can someone help maybe…..ty

  • Austin Harrison

    So if a family court judge say you are to have no contact with someone and there is no order no one signing any paperwork or anyone being served is it an active order? I have a 3 month old and i have to have some form of communication with the mother. Judge says she is to have no contact with me aswell as her son or they will take the children away. If a lawyer was hired could the case and no contact be dismissed if there really is one? I havent recieved anything in the mail no one has come knocking nothing..

    • cindyy

      Iam in the same issue right now how did everything work

  • Portia Marie Taylor

    A judge put a no contact on me and my boyfriend we was both arrested for a stolen car he is still in jail how do i get it droped so we can talk

  • Marie

    Me and my boyfriend have a NCO because we got in a huge fight and it got physical. We were on drugs at the time and have since then both been and rehab and have some sober time. My B.F. has violated the NCO 2 times already and we got pulled over two nights ago in my car and he was driving so he got arrested for a third NCO. we were not fighting or on drugs but it was still a violation. How can I help him or get the charges dropped? I called him and asked him to see me. I feel terrible and they are going to send him to prison, he is not a criminal and doesnt deserve to go to prison. Please help!

  • Max

    My wife got a stay away order on me which was a lie now I went through all the texts and on the date of the stay away order supposedly what I did I have texts of her all that day and nothing was said about me push her and threatening her in that P evidence to take this order away

  • kim

    if someone has a no contact order against me can they watch my child???

  • Deborah

    A criminal court placed a permanent restraining order against me 15 years ago.
    I went to prison and have served the court ordered time.
    Now I’m free and out of prison, how do i get this permanent restraining order removed now.
    It was placed against me in 2002.

  • Amanda gallauher

    Out of curiosity.. My husband and I separated two years ago due to his infidelity.. Currently we are trying to work things out and reconcile . we have a 3 yr old in common. During his two years with his mistress he got into drugs heavily trying to keep up with and feed her habit.. Since then has found trouble with the law and was place in jail. He has agreed to and is willing to give me power of attorney over him. So I guess my direct question is… Do I have legal right and can I request on his behalf there be legally placed a no contact order against this girl.

    • Kimberly Anne Kramer-Elwell

      you can’t get an order on her unless she has harmed you or you feel unsafe bc of her. Also, in my very recent and personal experience, I know you want to keep your family whole. You may love him (or think you do) but, leave him. Rarely do people change. Yes it can be done. But, think about this legal mess. Then it’ll be probation or parole. Fees. Lawyers. You’re not going to trust him, if you do you shouldn’t. Think of how he is being a role model for your child(ren).

      I know I don’t know you and I’m sorry to be blunt, but it’s reality. Don’t be another statistic on top of it all. Saying this with love, and like I said, experience

  • Scott

    I had a nco on my girlfriend after we got drunk and she got violent that was 2013 and they won’t drop it here in rhode island… if we move to a different state is it still effective in that state?

    • BLOWFISH

      It follows you from state to state :/

  • Leonard Shepard Hart

    I am Mr. Leonard Shepard, i really want to tell the whole world what Dr. Iyere greatest spell caster done for me this is tears of joy. My wife left for USA last eight months and there after she refused to come home i called and i called and she persisted then instantly i knew something was wrong somewhere i searched for helped from the vertical to horizontal and yet to no avail. I cried and cried but she was not going to come back to me, i keep a search on internet to get suggestions from anywhere that i can then contact and i came across a testimony relating to my case with this email (dr.iyere@hotmail.com) but to say the fact though i wanted to do anything to have my wife back i still have doubt that this couldn’t work cause i don’t believe in superstition but i just put a trial by emailing the (dr.iyere@hotmail.com) The reply i got was striking that my wife had been spellbound by another man, i screamed help but he said not worry and instruct me what to do and i did exactly as i was instructed. to my greatest surprise two days later my wife called and she was crying to me and not knowing what to do i bust into tears too but it was a tears of joy. so i will use this medium to urge every single soul with problem of any kind to try and contact this email. (dr.iyere@hotmail.com) Dr. Iyere is a solution provider.

  • James Goodwin

    Can I live in a unattached garage as long as we dont contact each other in any way

  • Linda

    My husband has violated a DV NCOs 6 times he was arrested what will happen

  • Donna Daytona

    Informative article , For my two cents , if your company has been searching for a a form , my husband discovered a fillable form here http://goo.gl/i3CrTq

  • citizena

    Can children write their father in jail during a no contact order?

  • Sonia

    What about both work in the same place different shifts and the person put a restraint order for work

  • BLOWFISH

    My companion of seven years and I got into a heated argument after a very bad week and I threw a phone. I do not remember the phone hitting him but maybe it did. I was arrested after he wanted help to calm me down and maybe transport me to a a hospital. The police didn’t want to understand the situation … and for this isolated incident we are both suffering and I think this system the courts have needs to be reevaluated.
    I admit to my moment of not being able to control myself. I will take full responsibility for my actions. But my case hasn’t even been filed by the state so why am i being treated like a convicted criminal? Why is my companion having to experience the financial loss and the stress of being away from the home that he works so hard for? And why won’t the courts consider my personal situation ?😞

    I have late stage mucosal melanoma. The day that we argued and I threw my phone I had learned that my treatment course will radical oral surgery. I just turned 47 in may.
    Four days after my release on ROR I had laparoscopic surgery…. I need so much help and the only person I count on is my companion. He is my caregiver and without him I can’t take care of myself and my home. It’s not that I am making excuses… as I write this I am crying and for the first time I feel sorry for myself. I don’t remember how to take my medicine and I can’t eat by myself. We have a small farm and I am struggling to do the basic things I need to do to for them. I need his help desperately 🙁 . It was one moment that came from sadness and now it may take everything away. I can not even schedule or plan for the surgery that I will need 24/7 help when all is done. My treatment is basically haulted and I am not doing well.
    I don’t know what to do

    • Gary Bate

      My heart goes out to you, my wife is you and I am your husband. For 5 years I was her caregiver. She has late stage 4 of a rare cancer. We had to travel to Europe for her treatment as it wasn’t available here. I’m devastated. There was only 6 specialist in the country. I was her expert. She will absolutely die sooner add a result of this. There is nothing I can do. I paid an atty my last $5k. He did absolutely nothing. As a result I am homeless. Unbelievable the system in this country. This is not a free society its worse than Nazi Germany.I hope that you are well and your situation was resolved. Good luck you can reach out to others that can and will help you. People like me.The cancer community is a strong one and everybody helps everybody. Your never alone. Let your partner know that.

  • Sheri Loving Mylah Barney

    What if the restrained owns the house but a NCO or ex parte is done how can the restrained get their home back because the restrainer used the home owners address as their address

  • Ginger Female Monroe

    My husband had an affair and they had a child together in order for my husband to get his child back from CPS the court says he has to take a temporary restraining order out on me his wife if he does that will I be able to see him when the child is not with him or would I and our children be able to see there dad my husband or would have to stay away from him altogether???

  • Marija Lakner

    I got cured miraculously of Herpes Virus through Dr. OTOHAN who sent me some herbal medicines and I used as instructed within two weeks. After which I noticed the disappearance of the outbreaks then I visited my doctor for medical examination behold, I am negative. I introduced this great doctor to couple of infected friends who also tried the medication and they were cured as well .. Please if you have this virus and you have tried so many things or have been deceived severally, here is your final solution send him an email with drotohancanhome@gmail.com

  • Alexa

    I live in Illinois, my son’s father and I got into a heated argument. The officer on scene pressed charges, I didn’t ask for it. The judge put a no contact order on my sons father, I didn’t ask for any order of protection. Will my sons father be able to come home? We live on the same lease, it is breaking my sons heart and mine.

  • Anon

    Me and my girlfriend had gone shopping, and while we were shopping unbeknownst to me she had put a few items in her purse. We were stopped, searched, all that good stuff. I had nothing, and both me and my girlfriend said that I had nothing to do with it but I was still arrested with ZERO evidence, and a no contact order was placed as a punishment for ME, she was never even given notification the order was in place and still hasnt. Is this even legitimate, or is this just the legal system abusing it’s power as always. I didn’t do anything, and her offence was only a misdemeanor. Why am I being punished, charged with what she did, with no evidence to even hint that I was involved other than being there.. this is my girlfriend of 3 years. For the state to come in and cancel contact between us is absolutely disgusting. Again, is this even a legitimate order, and what are the chances my attorney can drop it before trial?

  • Kelly

    My son has a NCO as condition of his bond and until he goes to court for phone harassment against me. He violated the order by being at my house getting what few clothes he had here. We got into an argument and neighbors called police. I wasn’t supposed to be home when he came over, but he ended up getting arrested for violating the NCO. We are in Kansas and he was out on bond. What will happen to him possibly? This is his first offense, also he is on a year of UN supervised probation will this violate his probation?

  • Sara Jane

    A judge game my x a no contact order bc he violated an order of protection. The order of protection has exspired but the no contact is still valid for another year. My x’s lawyer is trying to subpoena me as co defendant for charges filed from our old landlord. Ive been in contact with her the entire time shes been going to court. He has stolen things from her and ruined her house but he is trying to blame me…the reason why his lawyer is trying to subpoena me. Is that a violation of a no contact order?

  • clyde

    i was served no contact for sexual battery. The judge postponed because the people didnt have a lawyer. I understand the lawyers have procedural ways of handling this, but shoud i go all the way to trial. I havent been charged because i didnt do it and its her word against mine and she has lied about or made up things I read in her complaint. But I know anything i say can be used against me so should i not fight it all the way to cross examinings? What if I didnt even contest it? How bad of a blemish is that on me? Because I dont care if I ever talk to these people again

  • Loverlygrl951

    As a protected AV I would like in my boyfriends case for the order to be dropped we both have had our families and our friends talk to us and mediate between us and in result we have more than reconciled. I would love him to be a part of my life again and have since moved in to his mothers home. We would love to be married but the DA has filed charges pending extremely unfair punishment of a strike and prison time on a fight that I started AND finished even with more injury resulting to myself in a much shorter amount of time and effort administered by defendant there was several different ways I could’ve gotten my opinion across instead of acting foolishly in front of my children. My children were taken away and placed with their father and every step he and I have made since that fight has been an attempt to make better choices and better our lives fully based on the benefit of the children and our families and our selves. I miss him and he misses me and we want beautiful wholesome things for eachother that we can provide for one another. As a clerical officiant we also want to obtain licensing to be married and wanted some advice on what we can do to somehow make the restrain order go away if not all charges. If the charges cannot be dropped then we wanted to marry before he goes away to prison but are concerned that when we go to obtain the license about us being seen together and being violated or even if we are able to acquire the needed license and perform the marriage that it won’t be valid for some reason… please help

  • Jackimvelez@gmail.com

    I need serious help! The judge put a no contact order for myself and another person but they keep texting me threatening me and even going to my sister’s house looking for me to harm me, they are the defendant in this case, can I have him arrested for the threats considering I have them all documented via the texts I’ve
    received?? He went to my 12th old nieces house !

  • Amanda

    Well my boyfriend is on drug court and we live together for a year now he has six more months to go and because someone said I do drugs they want me to submit to a drug test in order to stay with my bf in our home can they legally do this ???

    • Lyndi

      Yes they can. Id you’re not willing to take the test to prove you are sober then that gives them suspicion that you’re using. My suggestion for you is to stay sober and admit to the test. You don’t want things getting any worse.

  • reda

    Thier has been a no contact order placed on my husbands ex mistress, she has gone through extra measures to stalk and harass me even after told to not have contact. She used to call with a private number, but recently she has started to call from her job number, however she calls during times we know the job is not open.she has started calling his phone now that the no contact order for him has been dropped because they dropped her battery charge What can we do.

  • Tina Watson

    Can i get a stay away order for my husbands mistress to stay away from my daughter? This has done so much mental damage I want them both to know she is not to be around my child to cause more mental pain.

  • Amanda Anttonen

    can a judge approve an ex parte to remove a child from the mother with an open assault charge? i cant seem to find any ruling or anything that says they do or dont. can you help?

  • Russell Breher

    Is a no contact order for both the defendant and planiff? What happens if the victim breaks the no contact order?

  • Roy

    I have had some one take out a assult against a female with no one contact with out a mark on her, I am signer of a bail that I have posted for her. How can I go off het bail

  • ASAP

    I have been abused by this guy for over two years mentally and I finally had enough and was getting ready to leave him and i got arrested for a DV on me and now he has all my things in his house. I want nothing to do with this man ever again. I am wondering when my sitter and brother in law go to court on friday how can I get all my stuff out of the house

    • HyphyMike

      Im dealing with the same situation. I have to have my best friend go get everything, no civil standby and I cant go there. Sucks because I have 2 massive fish tanks, he has no fish tank experience. What a headache. Its going to be a mess for you and I wish you the best

  • alisha kent

    Can someone please answer this we were both arrested in alabama and have a no contact order because we are co defendants but in florida which is where we both currently live we have a paper saying we are allowed peaceful contact and its signed by a judge does this mean we only have no contact in alabama or the alabama order also will be enforced here in florida?

    • Adrien

      Yes only alabama,
      If u want, you have to submit the other order with the other state

  • Keith French

    Mine wasnt signed or anything is it still legal even tho it wasnt signed or infront of the judge before i recived it

  • James Pruismann

    neighbor asulted me in my own garage and was arested and charged with asualt and injuries. we rent a split house. my question is after he was arrested the police department issued a no contact and he was served a 3 day eviction.. he was supposed to be out of his duplex today and isn’t. is he in violation for even being around me? thanks

  • Sarah

    My uncle tried contacting me. I’m the victim. What can I do? He gets a chance for parole next year. I’m terrified of him getting out for good and hurting me and my family. What can I do?

  • Cathy

    I live in Illinois. I have an order of protection issued by the courts in Illinois. The man violated the order and lives right across the river in Iowa. A warrant has been issued for his arrest. Does Illinois or Iowa arrest him?

    • sslam00

      I don’t know the answer, but thought order of protection were statewide only. I would like to know the answer also

  • Diane Pittel

    this is a question for a friend. She has a temporary restraining against her husband. He is ranting that if they take it to court to get a permanent one, that he will lose his job. Is this true? That makes no sense. How would he pay his legal fees, and hers, and be able to pay child support? Furthermore, how would his job find out about it? I can understand that if he were to try and get another job and they did a background check on him, that could make it hard for him to get hired. I can’t find any info on this on the internet.

  • Gary Bate

    My wife’s atty filed an ex-parte tro to get me out of the house. She abandoned me after i sacrificed everything fur 5 years to care for her. She is terminally ill. I was left homeless with no access to possessions or joint funds. As part of the divorce agreement the tro was dropped and a non clets no contact order put into place. Contact was allowed but only on her discretion. I tried to go thru her atty to get back my belongings no response. She texted me come get your stuff or I’m throwing it out. I’d respond when or is tomorrow ok? She’d either respond if you come here I’ll call the police or silence. I eventually gave up! Now however I have been notified that her atty has filed another ex parte tro on me but I have never been served. Checking court records I see he has filed 2 continuances. Am I restrained? Should I go to court regardless of being served our not? Is this a tactic to not serve notice so the judge will grant the tro permanently with sufficient notice finally being accepted via news paper publication? It’s been 8 months now since I have seen or directly communicated with my terminally ill wife. no opportunity to ask why no opportunity to say goodbye after a loving 14 years of marriage. no opportunity to look into her eyes after 5 years of full time effort to save her life, 5 trips oversees for treatments numerous trips around the country seeking medical help and care. Where once the hero I am now the villain. What is my crime? I should add that this whole thing is the work of her adult daughter in an attempt (successful) to shut me out financially upon her mother’s passing. I have no direct knowledge of my wife’s condition. I believe she’s alive. Where are my rights? What can I do? I am not even allowed to say goodbye. So sad.

  • Gary Bate

    I am so sickened by reading all these stories of injustice. What gives the police or any judge the right to determine without trial who can speak to whom or be in the presence of whom? If one person requests it and has a valid reason such as a conviction of physical abuse by the other party so be it. But this is not the case here. Overwhelmingly there are no convictions of harm by the responding party. Overwhelmingly one or both of the parties here have committed no crime and wish to be able to continue their lives together without interference by the state. WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY? WHY ARE JUDGES, LAWYERS AND POLICE RUINING FAMILY’S, CHILDREN’S PARENTS AND INDIVIDUALS LIVES? SINCE WHEN IS HAVING AN ARGUMENT, DISAGREEMENT A CRIMINAL ACT?
    IS NOT A FREE PERSON IN THIS COUNTRY ASSUMED TO BE INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY IN A COURT OF LAW? IS NOT THE BURDEN OF PROOF ON THE ACCUSER?DOES NOT THAT BURDEN OF PROOF SAY BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT? HOW CAN A COURT CRIMINALIZE THE NORMAL CIVIL BEHAVIOR OF AN INDIVIDUAL WITHOUT DUE PROCESS?
    WHAT ABOUT OUR RIGHTS AS GRANTED BY THE CONSTITUTION, THE RIGHT TO FREE SPEECH, THE RIGHT TO FREEDOM OF ASSEMBLY, THE RIGHT TO TRAVEL FREELY? I CHALLENGE YOU NOAH TO ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS. I CHALLENGE YOU AND ANY OTHER LAWYER TO ANSWER THE PEOPLE HERE AS TO WHAT JUSTICE IS BEING SERVED? THIS IS AN ABUSE OF THE CRIMINAL JUSTICE SYSTEM AGAINST THE PEOPLE WHO ELECT THE JUDGES TO PROTECT THEM AGAINST THE CRIMINAL AMONGST US. TO DESTROY SO MANY LIVES IN ORDER TO MAKE SURE THAT MINISCULE AHOLE IS PUT WHERE THEY BELONG SO THEY CAN GET RE-ELECTED NEXT YEAR IS IN ITSELF A CRIME AGAINST HUMANITY. THE MAN OR WOMAN THAT REALLY WANTS TO HARM ANOTHER PERSON WILL NOT BE STOPPED BY A PIECE OF PAPER, AND LIKELY SOME THAT WOULD HAVE NOT WILL BE ENRAGED AND PUSHED PAST TO THE POINT OF HARM BY THIS UNDESERVED AND PROVOCATIVE “PROTECTIVE ORDER” WHERE THEY MIGHT HAVE CAUSED NO HARM OTHERWISE. THE CRIMINALS HERE ARE THESE JUDGES THAT SO WILLINGLY PUT THESE ORDERS INTO EFFECT, THERE BY CRIMINALIZING THOSE THAT ARE SURELY NOT. DISGUSTING. WHATEVER HAPPENED TO COMMON SENSE AMERICA? WILL NO ONE STEP UP TO THE PLATE AND SHOW THE INJUSTICE? IS THIS COUNTRY A FLOCK OF APATHETIC SHEEP? BAH BAH !!! THERE’S A WAR GOING ON PEOPLE , FROM CIVIL RIGHTS TO ACCESS TO MEDICAL CARE TO THE RIGHTS GRANTED US AS A FREE PEOPLE THE WAR HAS BEGUN AND CONCLUDED WITH THE SIDE OF” THE PEOPLE” EVEN BEING AWARE OF IT OR TOTALLY OBLIVIOUS WITH THEIR HEADS BURIED INTO THEIR FLATSCREEN TV’S AND SMARTPHONES….WE NEED A NEW REVOLOUTION IN THIS COUNTRY. THE PEOPLE VS THE STATE. IF ANY OF YOU AGREE WITH THIS USE YOUR POWER AND UPVOTE. GRRrrrr. I’M MAD AS HELL AND I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE IT ANYMORE.

  • Drucilla

    So my boyfriend got out of jail and we called his po to come and talk to him so we know what he has to do for his probation. When we went in the po said that there is not to be any contact between him and i. I have never been in trouble and dont do any drugs. I dont see how he can do it without a judge saying yes?

  • wrongfully acussed was beated

    i got probation for up to a year 125 charge and if drug clean 6 months straight no more probation dose that aslo include lifting the restraining order that i was falsley accused off cause i dont rat but aparently he had no problem being the female crier

  • Billie Lee

    Why cant I see my baby when the no contact is for my wife only

  • jessica

    my brother ( who currently lives with me) and his wife have a no contact order, they aren’t following the order can I get in to legal trouble if he brings her here and in my house?

  • gina

    the judge put a no contact order against my boyfriend for DV. and he is now in prison. the judge would not even drop the order to a no negative order . this is ridiculous because who is he to say who I can/cannot see or talk to.. the judge even said Im not the one who wants to control someones life but I’m not changing the order and Im extending the order until 2020. this is just ridiculous..he is in prison and I cant talk or see him .. CALIFORNIA

The facts and circumstances of your case may differ from the matters in which results and testimonials have been provided. Every case is different, and each client’s case must be evaluated and handled on its own merits.